Transanimated Soapbox #2

Hey all, I'm already back with the second round of Soapbox! I really, really loved the response that I got from the first one, so I wanted to jump right back into this! Today, I have two big things to talk about... my latest story, which is in many ways a huge departure from anything I've posted here before, and a long exploration of the history of my transformation fetish.

EARTH-33W AND THE FETISH ART OF NAMIO HARUKAWA

Some of you may be wondering about The Women of Earth-33W. It's not my typical work -- not only is it the first time I've ever used illustrations rather than photographs in one of my stories, but it doesn't even involve transformation (or at least, not literal transformation)! What inspired me to make it?

This is something I've wanted to do for years. You see, I absolutely adore the work of the Namio Harukawa, a Japanese fetish artist known for his depections of enormous-bottomed ladies dominating and smothering small, weak men. His history is pretty mysterious — I've never found any well-sourced information on how old he is, where exactly he's from, or even whether or not he's still alive — but apparently he started producing these drawings in the 1960s.

I first discovered his work over a decade ago, and I've loved it ever since. And, over the years of admiring it, I've developed my own head canon about the world that it takes place in. I imagined it to be an alternate reality to our own, where estrogen and testosterone made women physically bigger and stronger than men, rather than vice versa. A world where the male, patriarchal cruelty and horror of our own civilization's history was replaced with female, matriarchal cruelty. A world that is about a billion times sexier, if you have a fetish for female domination.

When I first started laying plans to create a series of stories exploring this world, I considered creating a different blog altogether, and merely linking it on Transanimated. After all, it's not really TF at all; it's more straight-up femdom (although the women do treat their little mannies like objects).

But then I got the idea that maybe this was a parallel universe to the fictional universe Transanimated is set in. Kind of like how there are a bunch of parallel Earths in the Marvel comics universe (where the core universe is "Earth-616"). I liked the silly idea of expanding the Transanimated universe into a multiverse, and I enjoyed the idea of Earth-33W being explained and narrated to the reader by witches from the core Transanimated universe.

In addition to my desire to connect Earth-33W to the Transanimated universe as a plot device, I also thought:

1. There's probably a pretty huge overlap of people who enjoy the disgusting femdom TF stories I've traditionally posted here and people who would enjoy my Namio Harukawa-inspired disgusting femdom stories of Earth-33W.
   
   
2. I don't know how many of these Earth-33W stories I'm likely to tell, but given that there are a finite number of Namio Harukawa drawings and that my main thing is still inanimate TF, I doubt I'll make enough of these to justify having a whole separate blog.
   
   
3. Transanimated is my blog that displays my work and gives life to my fetishes and so I'll post whatever the fuck I want on here.

So, I posted The Women of Earth-33W here on my blog, and I'll post all future stories about Earth-33W right here on Transanimated. I hope you enjoy them!

THE HISTORY OF MY TRANSFORMATION FETISH

I said in my last Soapbox article that I'd explain the history my development of this sexual obsession in detail. It's something that I think about a lot, because I — like many of you, I'm sure — often wonder how I wound up with it. Life would certainly be a lot simpler without it.

This obsession started before I was old enough to understand it to be sexual in nature. When I was in 1st grade, I remember reading a children’s book about a boy who got squashed flat by the headboard on his bed, and all the ways he enjoyed being flat after the accident. One part of the story was about how the boy could get folded up, sealed in an envelope, and mailed across the country to visit his relatives. I was obsessed with that part of the story; unable to open his envelope, he was reduced to nothing more than an ordinary piece of mail until someone else chose to open him. I had an obsessive fantasy about being this boy but getting mailed to the wrong address and discarded without being opened by someone who didn’t even know I was anything but an ordinary letter. Trapped as nothing but a piece of mail for months, or years... sitting in a pile of unopened mail, or tossed in the trash. I think in one version of the fantasy, the envelope got dropped into the mailbox but fell into some kind of little crevasse where the mailman would never see it, so I was stuck there, a piece of undelivered and unnoticed mail hidden in a mailbox right down the street from my house, for a long, long time. Merely a misplaced object.

Still in elementary school, I remember having obsessive thoughts about episodes of cartoons that featured inanimate transformations. Luigi got transformed into an egg on an episode of the Super Mario World cartoon — he couldn’t speak or move at all, he just became an object that people treated like a ball and fought over. Once Darkwing Duck’s girlfriend Morgana accidentally turned him into a helpless plate of jello pudding. I remember play-acting scenes from Duck Tales with my sister and the older girl from the house next door; I wanted us to play-act this episode where Scrooge McDuck gets frozen solid and carried around like a statue, so I could pretend to be an inanimate object while they treated me like one. This was all prepubescent, before I had any understanding of sex; I had this strange obsession that I found extremely exciting, and I had no idea what it meant, or why.

There were other cartoon moments. I remember Ren and Stimpy had a lot of moments. Ren getting burned into ash then doused with water and stirred so that he was nothing but a helpless pile of black crud with blinking eyes. Ren getting his face transplanted onto Stimpy’s back so he was just a helpless face smelling Stimpy’s farts — definitely planted the seed for the body part TF fantasy. Ren getting flattened and then used as a towel by an unaware Stimpy, who even goes as far as using Towel Ren to floss his butt and crotch. Goddamn, Ren and Stimpy was such a weird cartoon... I’m describing these plotlines and thinking, “They showed this to children and expected us not to develop weirdo fetishes?”

In 3rd or 4th grade, I had a dream where I had become a red rubber kickball. I became obsessed with the fantasy of becoming a kickball... I’d have two eyes, and I’d be able to talk, but I’d be unable to move on my own at all. Everyone would just treat me like a normal kickball. They’d kick me around, dribble me on my face, throw me in the air, and I’d be helpless to do anything about it. I remember talking to one of my friends about my dream so we could riff about things people could do with me if I became a helpless, talking kickball. I think he probably just thought it was a silly conversation about a dream. I didn’t know why this fantasy was so exciting to me — I doubt I understood this to be a sexual fetish until I was in middle school — but I knew that I wanted it to be real.

Of course, the childhood mainstay of weird fetishes, Willy Wonka, was there. I don’t remember how old I was when I saw it, but I certainly remember Violet blowing up into a big, purple, juicy blueberry and being rolled away like a ball, and I certainly remember Mike shrinking down into a tiny two-inch-tall boy, then being pinched between his mother’s thumb and forefinger and dropped into her purse, his objections completely ignored by his utterly dominant mother. Inflation, shrinking, and giantess fetishes... they’re all related to this same submission obsession for sure.

Around 5th grade, I had a bizarre fantasy where I would somehow become poop in the toilet at school, and one of my friends would find me in there. I’d beg him not to flush me, but he’d think it was so gross that I was a talking poop that he’d do it anyway. I was old enough and this fantasy was fucking weird enough that I knew I shouldn’t talk about it to anyone. Why the fuck did I want to be a poop in the toilet? I just did.

I riffed on that fantasy a lot through grade school. Sometimes, I’d become a poop in the toilet at home — I’d often imagine myself as looking like a greenish poop my sister had left in the toilet once and forgotten to flush, because being a girl’s poop was somehow more exciting to me — and my family would find me in there and scoop me out with a ladle a keep me in a jar. I’d just be the disgusting lump of poop floating in a jar on the kitchen counter, until everyone got too grossed out by me and decided to dump me out in the backyard or flush me down the toilet.

When I was in 6th grade or so, I saw the live-action Richie Rich movie, which featured a scene where a sci-fi matter converter transforms two of the villain’s henchmen into bedpans. That became my first toilet TF fantasy, before there was ever a name for such a thing. I’d fantasize about being accidentally transformed into a bedpan and spending the rest of my life getting shit in by hospital patients who had no idea that I wasn’t a normal bedpan. In this fantasy, I could never speak to beg for mercy; usually, one cruel woman would know about my transformation, and she’d be the nurse at the hospital who’d mixed me in with all the normal bedpans. She would taunt me, laughing at my horrible fate as she tossed me on the stack of bedpans. By the next day, the bedpans would be shuffled around so that even she wouldn’t know which one was me. No one would ever know that I was anything but an object for people to shit in.

By high school, my newest riff on the poop TF fantasy was to become a poop in the butt of a girl I had a crush on, and she’d poop me out and flush me down the toilet. In this version of the fantasy, I couldn’t speak. I was just a totally normal turd in my crush’s butt, and she’d poop me out and flush me down the toilet without ever having known I’d been anything but poop. I also liked imagining that I’d be cartoonishly swallowed whole by a cow and then immediately plopped out of the cow’s butt as a big, steaming cow poop. Maybe a farmer boy would find me in a field, and he’d poke at me with a stick while I talked to him in a farty cow poop voice, but in the end he’d just laugh at me for being cow poop and leave me to my fate.

By this point, of course, I knew these fantasies was sexual, and I’d jerk off thinking about them. So, by the time I was in high school, I’d developed the first drafts of fetishes for: femdom, inanimate TF, poop TF, toilet TF, and body part TF, all before I’d ever been exposed to an online community of people who share those interests.

But where’d the seed come from? Where’d that initial sexual obsession with domination and humiliation begin? I was a strange, emotionally sensitive kid, so I often felt dominated or humiliated when I was growing up; sometimes I think that maybe those frequently experienced emotions just stamped themselves on my sexuality by repetition. The problem with that theory is that I just traced the earliest manifestations of this fetish back to the 1st grade, well before my childhood started to get tough (which probably started in the 4th grade). So I really don’t know, guys and gals. Maybe I was just born with it.

Man, there are so many little memories I'm leaving out. The Pepsi Super Bowl commercial where a kid sucks a straw in an empty Pepsi bottle so hard that he gets sucked into the bottle, and his sister picks him up and he's basically been reduced to nothing but a helpless little Pepsi bottle. The video game commercial where a boy accidentally turns his mom into a chicken with a sci-fi gun, and I fantasize about everyone deciding she's just a chicken now and putting her in a chicken coop where she gets fucked by roosters, and that's just her life from now on. So many weird little make-believe stories from cartoons or movies or commercials that become insanely sexy if you have this fetish.

How about you all? What are some of your earliest memories with this fetish? How early did it start for you?