Sunday, January 20, 2019

Transanimated Soapbox #2

Hey all, I'm already back with the second round of Soapbox! I really, really loved the response that I got from the first one, so I wanted to jump right back into this! Today, I have two big things to talk about... my latest story, which is in many ways a huge departure from anything I've posted here before, and a long exploration of the history of my transformation fetish.


EARTH-33W AND THE FETISH ART OF NAMIO HARUKAWA

Some of you may be wondering about The Women of Earth-33W. It's not my typical work -- not only is it the first time I've ever used illustrations rather than photographs in one of my stories, but it doesn't even involve transformation (or at least, not literal transformation)! What inspired me to make it?

This is something I've wanted to do for years. You see, I absolutely adore the work of the Namio Harukawa, a Japanese fetish artist known for his depections of enormous-bottomed ladies dominating and smothering small, weak men. His history is pretty mysterious — I've never found any well-sourced information on how old he is, where exactly he's from, or even whether or not he's still alive — but apparently he started producing these drawings in the 1960s.

I first discovered his work over a decade ago, and I've loved it ever since. And, over the years of admiring it, I've developed my own head canon about the world that it takes place in. I imagined it to be an alternate reality to our own, where estrogen and testosterone made women physically bigger and stronger than men, rather than vice versa. A world where the male, patriarchal cruelty and horror of our own civilization's history was replaced with female, matriarchal cruelty. A world that is about a billion times sexier, if you have a fetish for female domination.

When I first started laying plans to create a series of stories exploring this world, I considered creating a different blog altogether, and merely linking it on Transanimated. After all, it's not really TF at all; it's more straight-up femdom (although the women do treat their little mannies like objects).

But then I got the idea that maybe this was a parallel universe to the fictional universe Transanimated is set in. Kind of like how there are a bunch of parallel Earths in the Marvel comics universe (where the core universe is "Earth-616"). I liked the silly idea of expanding the Transanimated universe into a multiverse, and I enjoyed the idea of Earth-33W being explained and narrated to the reader by witches from the core Transanimated universe.

In addition to my desire to connect Earth-33W to the Transanimated universe as a plot device, I also thought:
  1. There's probably a pretty huge overlap of people who enjoy the disgusting femdom TF stories I've traditionally posted here and people who would enjoy my Namio Harukawa-inspired disgusting femdom stories of Earth-33W.

  2. I don't know how many of these Earth-33W stories I'm likely to tell, but given that there are a finite number of Namio Harukawa drawings and that my main thing is still inanimate TF, I doubt I'll make enough of these to justify having a whole separate blog.

  3. Transanimated is my blog that displays my work and gives life to my fetishes and so I'll post whatever the fuck I want on here.
So, I posted The Women of Earth-33W here on my blog, and I'll post all future stories about Earth-33W right here on Transanimated. I hope you enjoy them!


THE HISTORY OF MY TRANSFORMATION FETISH

I said in my last Soapbox article that I'd explain the history my development of this sexual obsession in detail. It's something that I think about a lot, because I — like many of you, I'm sure — often wonder how I wound up with it. Life would certainly be a lot simpler without it.

This obsession started before I was old enough to understand it to be sexual in nature. When I was in 1st grade, I remember reading a children’s book about a boy who got squashed flat by the headboard on his bed, and all the ways he enjoyed being flat after the accident. One part of the story was about how the boy could get folded up, sealed in an envelope, and mailed across the country to visit his relatives. I was obsessed with that part of the story; unable to open his envelope, he was reduced to nothing more than an ordinary piece of mail until someone else chose to open him. I had an obsessive fantasy about being this boy but getting mailed to the wrong address and discarded without being opened by someone who didn’t even know I was anything but an ordinary letter. Trapped as nothing but a piece of mail for months, or years... sitting in a pile of unopened mail, or tossed in the trash. I think in one version of the fantasy, the envelope got dropped into the mailbox but fell into some kind of little crevasse where the mailman would never see it, so I was stuck there, a piece of undelivered and unnoticed mail hidden in a mailbox right down the street from my house, for a long, long time. Merely a misplaced object.

Still in elementary school, I remember having obsessive thoughts about episodes of cartoons that featured inanimate transformations. Luigi got transformed into an egg on an episode of the Super Mario World cartoon — he couldn’t speak or move at all, he just became an object that people treated like a ball and fought over. Once Darkwing Duck’s girlfriend Morgana accidentally turned him into a helpless plate of jello pudding. I remember play-acting scenes from Duck Tales with my sister and the older girl from the house next door; I wanted us to play-act this episode where Scrooge McDuck gets frozen solid and carried around like a statue, so I could pretend to be an inanimate object while they treated me like one. This was all prepubescent, before I had any understanding of sex; I had this strange obsession that I found extremely exciting, and I had no idea what it meant, or why.

There were other cartoon moments. I remember Ren and Stimpy had a lot of moments. Ren getting burned into ash then doused with water and stirred so that he was nothing but a helpless pile of black crud with blinking eyes. Ren getting his face transplanted onto Stimpy’s back so he was just a helpless face smelling Stimpy’s farts — definitely planted the seed for the body part TF fantasy. Ren getting flattened and then used as a towel by an unaware Stimpy, who even goes as far as using Towel Ren to floss his butt and crotch. Goddamn, Ren and Stimpy was such a weird cartoon... I’m describing these plotlines and thinking, “They showed this to children and expected us not to develop weirdo fetishes?”

In 3rd or 4th grade, I had a dream where I had become a red rubber kickball. I became obsessed with the fantasy of becoming a kickball... I’d have two eyes, and I’d be able to talk, but I’d be unable to move on my own at all. Everyone would just treat me like a normal kickball. They’d kick me around, dribble me on my face, throw me in the air, and I’d be helpless to do anything about it. I remember talking to one of my friends about my dream so we could riff about things people could do with me if I became a helpless, talking kickball. I think he probably just thought it was a silly conversation about a dream. I didn’t know why this fantasy was so exciting to me — I doubt I understood this to be a sexual fetish until I was in middle school — but I knew that I wanted it to be real.

Of course, the childhood mainstay of weird fetishes, Willy Wonka, was there. I don’t remember how old I was when I saw it, but I certainly remember Violet blowing up into a big, purple, juicy blueberry and being rolled away like a ball, and I certainly remember Mike shrinking down into a tiny two-inch-tall boy, then being pinched between his mother’s thumb and forefinger and dropped into her purse, his objections completely ignored by his utterly dominant mother. Inflation, shrinking, and giantess fetishes... they’re all related to this same submission obsession for sure.

Around 5th grade, I had a bizarre fantasy where I would somehow become poop in the toilet at school, and one of my friends would find me in there. I’d beg him not to flush me, but he’d think it was so gross that I was a talking poop that he’d do it anyway. I was old enough and this fantasy was fucking weird enough that I knew I shouldn’t talk about it to anyone. Why the fuck did I want to be a poop in the toilet? I just did.

I riffed on that fantasy a lot through grade school. Sometimes, I’d become a poop in the toilet at home — I’d often imagine myself as looking like a greenish poop my sister had left in the toilet once and forgotten to flush, because being a girl’s poop was somehow more exciting to me — and my family would find me in there and scoop me out with a ladle a keep me in a jar. I’d just be the disgusting lump of poop floating in a jar on the kitchen counter, until everyone got too grossed out by me and decided to dump me out in the backyard or flush me down the toilet.

When I was in 6th grade or so, I saw the live-action Richie Rich movie, which featured a scene where a sci-fi matter converter transforms two of the villain’s henchmen into bedpans. That became my first toilet TF fantasy, before there was ever a name for such a thing. I’d fantasize about being accidentally transformed into a bedpan and spending the rest of my life getting shit in by hospital patients who had no idea that I wasn’t a normal bedpan. In this fantasy, I could never speak to beg for mercy; usually, one cruel woman would know about my transformation, and she’d be the nurse at the hospital who’d mixed me in with all the normal bedpans. She would taunt me, laughing at my horrible fate as she tossed me on the stack of bedpans. By the next day, the bedpans would be shuffled around so that even she wouldn’t know which one was me. No one would ever know that I was anything but an object for people to shit in.

By high school, my newest riff on the poop TF fantasy was to become a poop in the butt of a girl I had a crush on, and she’d poop me out and flush me down the toilet. In this version of the fantasy, I couldn’t speak. I was just a totally normal turd in my crush’s butt, and she’d poop me out and flush me down the toilet without ever having known I’d been anything but poop. I also liked imagining that I’d be cartoonishly swallowed whole by a cow and then immediately plopped out of the cow’s butt as a big, steaming cow poop. Maybe a farmer boy would find me in a field, and he’d poke at me with a stick while I talked to him in a farty cow poop voice, but in the end he’d just laugh at me for being cow poop and leave me to my fate.

By this point, of course, I knew these fantasies was sexual, and I’d jerk off thinking about them. So, by the time I was in high school, I’d developed the first drafts of fetishes for: femdom, inanimate TF, poop TF, toilet TF, and body part TF, all before I’d ever been exposed to an online community of people who share those interests.

But where’d the seed come from? Where’d that initial sexual obsession with domination and humiliation begin? I was a strange, emotionally sensitive kid, so I often felt dominated or humiliated when I was growing up; sometimes I think that maybe those frequently experienced emotions just stamped themselves on my sexuality by repetition. The problem with that theory is that I just traced the earliest manifestations of this fetish back to the 1st grade, well before my childhood started to get tough (which probably started in the 4th grade). So I really don’t know, guys and gals. Maybe I was just born with it.

Man, there are so many little memories I'm leaving out. The Pepsi Super Bowl commercial where a kid sucks a straw in an empty Pepsi bottle so hard that he gets sucked into the bottle, and his sister picks him up and he's basically been reduced to nothing but a helpless little Pepsi bottle. The video game commercial where a boy accidentally turns his mom into a chicken with a sci-fi gun, and I fantasize about everyone deciding she's just a chicken now and putting her in a chicken coop where she gets fucked by roosters, and that's just her life from now on. So many weird little make-believe stories from cartoons or movies or commercials that become insanely sexy if you have this fetish.

How about you all? What are some of your earliest memories with this fetish? How early did it start for you?

11 comments:

  1. My earliest ones were mostly cartoons as well. There was an episode of Dexter's lab where he turns himself into a bubble gum boy and his sister finds him and starts using him like gum. Chewing him up, stretching and using him like a skipping rope etc. It was the same with casper the friendly ghost, where his uncles would use him like a ball, stretch him out tie his hands around themselves and all bounce on him like a trampoline. It was when the fat one would bounce on him and put even extra strain that made it even better. I use to imagine me being strecthy and people using their butts to stretch me out.

    Mainly any cartoon where someone would run into a wall, or the butt of a bigger character and become flattened, bonus if they stay stuck to the butt and the character just carries on. I always imagined me running into the people with fat butts at school and me being helpless taken along for the ride as they walked around, farted and sat on me.

    I think thats what led me to the underwear TF fetish, just helpless trapped to a butt as it sweats and farts. I cant do anything as i get wedged into the sweaty crack or the person forgets to wipe and im forced to get stained and ruined. I like the unawareness of the person using me, their not cruel or kind they simply treat me like a should be treated. I use to imagine that i had wished to be a pair of jeans and wait for me to get brought sometimes i would get the person i wanted other times not and if i really wanted to be humliated i use to imagine a fat, smelly man would pick me up and use me. I couldnt say nothing as my situation was made even worse as i was tarpped on some foul farting dude, normally one of the jock idiots from school.

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  2. I have to say that my first experience with inanimate tf fetish was a fortuitous event.

    Navigating through the old yahoo group pages I found JMD's collections, and that minor yet great event catapulted immediately a more exhaustive research.

    So, I cannot say that the tf theme was some notion nested in some form or another, but an immediate shock that just captivated me in the moment. Also, I cannot say in a precise way which aspect of the tf attracted me the most; the idea of transmutation of the materia, yeah, a little; the idea of being used and misused, of course XD, the notion of being at the mercy of a superb sexy being, definitely... but I prefer to keep all of it in a vague mixture of perceptions, after all, I see all of it as part of the charm, not being very sure about my fetish is one of the aspects I enjoy about it XD

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  3. I know that for me, my interest in transformations started out when I was much younger as well. However, in my case I was drawn towards animal transformations, specifically ones where a person was being transformed by a witch. These included transformations into a frog, a mouse, a donkey, a cat, and this list goes on. The transformation itself was always so amusing to me, however I also was really taken by an evil witch cackling and laughing at the poor person's fate as they changed. It was something I always pictured for myself, a witch cackling and laughing at my misfortune as she transformed me. That stuck with me until it eventually opened up into being a sexual fantasy.

    I started to picture it less as something out of a fairy tale, instead I was curious how these things would play out if it were truly happening. The witch would clearly be interested in humiliating their victims, and as I craved that more and more, my fantasy started to evolve. It started with adding elements of transgender transformations into the mix, turning into a female animal. However, that was somewhat short lived as I thought a witch who was truly intent on humiliating someone would go much further with their transformations, something far worse and more evil.

    My first forray into inanimate transformations was a pair of panties, and that quickly shifted to worse and worse. Bodypart transformations came very shortly after, but it still wasn't enough on its own until the idea of mixing it with animal transformations... I wanted to be turned into a cow's pussy, or a cow's ass! It was the first something I thoughtly was truly nasty, something a witch could take great pleasure in transforming someone into that they would hate and be so utterly humiliated by. They wouldn't be good enough to even become an object for the witch, they were so much more lowly and useless. That was where I peaked, a cow's ass, the ultimate form of humiliation and disgust, the form a terribly evil witch would choose to unleash on her most hated subject.

    I also found myself liking other lowly inanimate objects, like we find in this blog. Toilet transformations are another I hold in extremely high regard. That's where I am at right now, I'm still deeply aroused by a witch cackling and laughing at her victim as she transforms them, I want to be humiliated so badly and forever turned into something awful. I want to be stuck in such a horrible fate, I know I'd hate it, cry, and sob endlessly, and I would hope the witch would take great pleasure in my misery...

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    1. The first cow ass TF story I ever saw was on one of the countless old Wordpress TF blogs that has since been deleted. Unfortunately, I no longer have it, because this was before I'd learned that you should save backups of all of your favorite TF stories, because any of your favorite blogs can disappear at any time.

      In the story, a teacher turned her student into a cow's ass to punish him for not paying attention in class. She told him to pay attention to his new experience as a cow's ass, as she'd quiz him on everything he experienced on Monday, and if he missed anything, she'd leave him like that forever. The caption ended by showing that the teacher had forgotten which cow's ass she had transformed her student into almost immediately, because she never had any intention of transforming him back; her lie had merely been a trick to force the poor student to focus as hard as he could on every disgusting detail of his new life.

      The TF writer Kronostar did a great cow ass TF also, which I believe is still up over at TFs R Us. The thing I loved about that one was the nondramatic manner it described the subject's own reaction to his disgusting fate. It's a tone that I've borrowed in more than a few of my own stories, and something I find insanely sexy: instead of screaming in despair, the cow's butt just seemed mildly depressed about his new form. I think one of the opening lines was, and I'm paraphrasing, "He was still coming to terms with the fact that he was only a cow's butt now, and that he'd never be a man again," as if being a cow's butt forever is something someone can come to terms with.

      What I find so sexy about this is that the victim's opinion of himself and his old life was apparently so low that he can't manage to feel anything about his new, awful life other than being a little bummed out about it. It's like the next step up from the indifference of the dominating witch: even the victim is indifferent to his own existence. That's how low he is. I love it!

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    2. It is such a wonderfully arousing idea. A shame about the first story, I do not recall seeing it. It must have been the sort I would have loved. But I also recall you taking a small stab at this idea, who knows, maybe it is something you might revisit one day. It is one of the most depraved transformations I know of, and also one I discovered on my own without the aid of captions and stories. I guess that somehow makes it all that much more special to me, but I've loved any and all content related to the idea! Thanks for the reply and looking forward to any more future soapboxes.

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    3. If I ever do wind up doing another cow ass TF, do you have a first name you want me to use for the poor man who receives that miserable fate?

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    4. Please do a cow ass TF, talking about it so much has me gagging for it now

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    5. Heh, your request is noted, but as always, I make no promises — I never tell any requester “yes” before something is done. All I’ll say is that I’ve done a cow ass TF before, and I like the idea of doing another one. That doesn’t mean it’ll be the next thing I post, or a guarantee that I’ll post one this month or even this year. My posting schedule is erratic because I only make these things when I’m feelin’ them.

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    6. Looks like another anonymous is enjoying the idea as well. I am personally horrible at choosing names (and honestly I prefer not to myself), so perhaps if the other anonymous see's this, they can offer up a name of their choosing.

      That being said, I completely understand your schedule. I think if there's one big thing I can take away from your blog, your best work comes from your own thoughts and ideas, so whenever this cow's ass TF might strike your liking I'll be really excited to see it come to life. Rather than force it, take all the time you need with it, years if you must, work on anything else that suits your fancy first. There will be plenty of time to revel in a miserable man's fate as a sobbing cow's ass. Must be so many other toilets to break-in first and I certainly won't complain! ;)

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    7. Haha, the drawback of commenting anonymously, I suppose: I can’t tell when I’m talking to one of you, or several!

      I always try to avoid feeling like I have any obligation to do this stuff; given that I primarily write these stories as a sort of personal erotic ritual, it’d feel a bit like prostitution or something if I felt obligated to keep up a schedule of any kind. I don’t offer commissions, and I’m not obsessed with trying to grow my fanbase, because I have a job with a decent salary and I know that my work is so extreme that it’ll always be niche even within the already small inanimate TF community.

      I know there are some TF writers feel some kind of obligation to produce TF consistently, and will even post apologies when they’ve gone dark for a while. I love you peeps for being fans — we’re united by the same insane obsessions, and it’s great to know that I’m not the only person on Earth who has them — but one thing you guys ain’t never gettin’ from me is an apology. And I appreciate that the vast majority of you totally understand this!

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  4. My first foray into transformation of this style was the old Spy Fox computer games made for kids. Cartoony, mixture of anthropomorphic animals and humanoid characters, that sort of thing. There's this part where the titular character, Spy Fox, is on a mission in Russia and talks to this bear masseuse lady, asking for clues. She doesn't have any but offers to give him a massage instead, which involves kneading his body like dough into various shapes, including a ball she bounces around, a flat sheet she folds into a paper airplane, and a 'towel' she shakes out vigorously. I remember being so utterly enthralled by this exchange; the moulding of Spy Fox's body into whatever the bear lady wanted, even though I wasn't sure why.
    The same game company also produced Pajama Sam, another kids' computer game series. There's a moment in one of the games where Sam is shrunken down to about the size of a doll in order to fit into a pipe maze and rescue somebody. The machine he used to shrink was also used to "create weather," including shrinking large chunks of ice down into snowflakes. I often imagined Sam getting shrunken further and becoming lost in the mass of snowflakes and getting dispersed like the rest of the "weather."

    So, in two games, I'd found a burning interest for shrinking and object transformation.
    These were later amplified by the live-action Casper the Ghost movie, where Casper is accidentally smushed into a pillow for one of the main characters, a teenage girl. After using him like a pillow and beating him a bit to 'fluff him up', he escapes, only to have a pair of her socks shoved into his mouth accidentally.

    So from a young age I'd had this enthrallment with being transformed into an object and used by other people, either unawares or on purpose. And by young age I mean between 4-6 years old.
    There's a gag commercial for the Pokemon series, way back when, where Ash gets hit by a pokeball and sucked inside, trapped in a little spherical container far smaller than his body is. We're talking early early Pokemon animated series, but same principle.
    The Animorphs kids books also seemed to ignite something inside me, especially when it was mentioned that the transformation became permanent if left for too long. I fantasized about becoming an animal and then being trapped as said animal for the rest of my life.
    There's another children's book series that revolves around a bodyswap machine. The machine switches the minds of any two living entities. So, in the series, the main character swaps bodies with his mother, an alien, and even his best friend's dog.
    The third story here is what interested me--over the course of the novel, the main character swaps with his friend's dog because his friend's crush also has a dog, and he wants to connect with her starting at that level, but his dog normally (a golden retriever) is disobedient and scatterbrained. The main character (as a dog) ends up having to attend obedience school (which had already been scheduled for the dog itself), eat dog food, and recieve treats as rewards.

    So, getting back to the idea of being "trapped." Object transformations began to interest me more than animal transformations did. By the time I hit puberty I found Doc's Lab, and then the original Purse Boy. For a long time I fantasized about becoming a piece of girl's underwear, and then getting trapped like that.
    Somewhere along the way I was introduced to body part transformation, and THIS has remained my single strongest fetish. The idea of becoming a part of someone else, fully aware, all senses active, but fully under their control, all whilst oozing out their sweat and other bodily fluids, is irresistible to me.

    tl;dr-- started with some central transformation themes presented as minor gags in children's material; escalated into full-on transformation captions and stories about 8-10 years later.

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